Four Parenting Styles

There are many parenting styles that you may have heard of before, some of which we have also experienced as children. Wikipedia defines styles of parenting as "a psychological construct representing standard strategies that parents use in their child rearing." Diana Baumrind coined three of the four well known parenting styles which are uninvolved, permissive, authoritative and authoritarian parenting.

The Uninvolved or neglectful style of parenting is often described by the parent placing few demands on the child and having very little interaction with them. Uninvolved parents fulfill their children's basic needs but tend to be more detached from their child's life in general.

Permissive parenting styles are those in which parents make very few demands of their children. Permissive parents rarely discipline their children, they tend to be very nurturing and communicative often more in the role of a friend rather than a parent.

Authoritative parenting styles are similar to Authoritarian parenting in that the parents decide on the rules and guidelines their children must follow. But authoritative parenting tends to be more democratic. Authoritative parents tend to be more responsive and interactive and will usually take the time to listen to their children's questions. Their discipline style is likely to be more supportive rather than punitive.

The Authoritarian parenting style is where children are expected to follow very strict rules that are made up and decided on by the parents. Typically in the authoritarian style the failure to adhere to the rules results in punishment.

These are four of the most well known styles of parenting because they describe a spectrum of possible interactions between parent and child. However, there are numerous other parenting models that fit within the range of styles. Some of these include: attachment parenting, over-parenting, micro-managing, or religious-based parenting.

Which Methods Did Your Parents Use?

When deciding how you'd like to parent, it may be helpful to understand which style of parenting was most dominantly used by your parents or caregivers when you were a child. You may have noticed that your dad tended towards more permissive parenting, while your mom adhered to a strict authoritarian style. Either parent could become your model for your parenting depending on the situation you find yourself in. In many cases, you will unconsciously adopt one of your parent's styles without even noticing it. In unfamiliar parenting situations (like many of them can seem to be) you will most likely use the most familiar parenting style you can think of in that moment. But as you become more conscious of the type of parent you want to be, and practice choosing the style you want to use more often, your family life can become more harmonious and enjoyable.

Why are Parenting Styles Important?

Your style of parenting is important to many aspects of family life but is particularly important for its role in child development. Of course there are no methods, styles or models that guarantee how a child will turn out. However, if you are aware of the various parenting models or methods, then you can freely and consciously choose what feels the best for you and your family. Most people tend toward one style or another - but it doesn't mean that they won't use other complementary styles at appropriate times while raising children. It's OK to be authoritarian when you want to immediately prevent your child from getting hit by a car. And it's OK to be permissive later that same day when you child is immersed in playfulness.

Many parents create their own methods from a combination of factors. Of course these may change over time as both the children and parents develop and move through various life stages. All parents are a mixture created by their environment along with both of their parents' genetics and background. In single parent families where children alternate between two households, it can be difficult for children to transition between two radically different approaches to parenting.

Think About What You Want!

Get creative and invent your own styles for your parenting - you can even give it a name to add some humor and consistency to it! There are numerous studies that show consistency to be one of the most important parenting skills. How about being the calm, centered, joyfully exuberant parent? Or how about a curious, adventurous and inspiring parent? Mix it up a bit…talk to your partner or friends and think up your own - who do you want to be with respect to your parenting? Become more conscious of how you are choosing to parent. What do you want your kids to remember about you as a parent? How do you want your kids to experience you as a parent?

The journey called parenting can range from a wild ride to smooth sailing in a matter of minutes, so don't lock yourself in to any one method. Use all the parenting resources at your disposal including the parenting articles, parenting advice or relationship coaching from Inspiring-Self-Improvement.com, and let the adventure begin!