Self Improvement Advice

As a life coach, people ask me from time to time for self improvement advice. I usually respond by telling them a little about my life coaching philosophy. One of the essential points I make is that YOU are the expert in your life - so I rarely tell anyone what to do or give advice. What I do however, is ask clarifying questions, listen, give feedback, brainstorm and share resources for people to check out. I believe we all have our own inner guidance that will lead us on our unique path if we take the time to listen. Usually what people are looking for are self improvement tips, self motivation tips or some other "quick-fix" self improvement ideas to enhance their life or solve some problem. Life coaching helps people to explore alternatives to their problem-focused search for the "quick fix."

Who's the Real Expert?

Some of you may wonder, "Why don't you give self improvement advice?" Well, to me the process of listening and asking questions is far more powerful than any advice I could give. If I give someone self improvement advice, I am telling them what I think they should do from my perspective. But I would rather encourage them to look inside themselves for their truth and wisdom. Many people like to believe that there must be some "life expert" who knows more than they do. I coach my clients from the underlying belief that we all have our answers within. We truly are the experts in our own lives. What if we all trusted ourselves more and listened to our own inner guidance on a daily basis?

That doesn't mean that you should never give heed to what anyone else has to say. One of the reasons I appreciate the popular inspirational speaker Wayne Dyer is that he continually points his listeners back to their own guidance. I try to do the same in my life coaching work.

Life Coaching vs. Giving Advice

One thing I also provide as a life coach is the holding of a powerful, co-creative space for my clients to hear their own voice - to tap into their own wisdom as they make their own decisions. When my wonderful clients create the time and space to explore what they want, they end up giving themselves all the self improvement advice they ever needed. Each of us can do this for ourselves. You will feel more empowered as you begin to take more responsibility for your decisions. When you are constantly looking to others for advice, you will tend to make choices that may not feel true to your inner values. If the decision you make doesn't turn out, you may end up feeling angry that you didn't listen to yourself - piling up regrets.

It seems to me that giving self improvement advice to others is a bit of quick fix, a band-aid so to speak. My experience shows that band-aids don't last long. Perhaps in the short term it does provide an easier way out. And of course at times, especially when feeling overwhelmed, we all want someone to just tell us what to do. But in the long run, we will be doing ourselves a huge favor when we do our inner work first. When we take time to sit and listen to our guidance, and then follow it, we experience changes that last, and a greater sense of satisfaction.